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It’s hard to breathe and I can’t find a way to sleep at night. I want you out of my head but you’re consuming every part of me like a controlling drug and my life is spinning out of control. You said you love me the other day and I so badly want to go off on you. I want to ask you why, why tell me that, why tell me that, and leave it at that and nothing more. Now I’m here blowing my brains out because I don’t know if this is all a game to you or if you truly feel what I feel for you. You drink and drink and it’s only when your veins are swimming in alcohol that you express any type of feelings for me. And they say that drunken words are sober thoughts but I don’t even know what’s sober and what’s drunk. I want to scream at you and at the same time throw you against a wall and kiss you until you say you meant it all. I’m so drained and I can’t take this anymore. I can’t tell you how I feel because I’m scared of what the outcome will be or if I’ll get the unwanted answers for my desiring questions. I want to run, run away as fast as I can but it seems that every night as I rest my head on my pillow I inject myself with a little bit of you and I’m back to relapsing. Back to hating myself for losing you, hating myself for not knowing what you feel, hating myself for falling in love over and over again every time you smile my way.
- 4:27am (via h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart)
I still trip on the person I was when you loved me.
- the ever so beautiful alonesomes (via convulsingxpulses)

The hardest thing about losing you is that I didn’t just lose you once. I lose you every single day that we don’t speak. I lose you in the morning when I reach for my phone and hope to see a message or a missed call that isn’t there. I lose you at night when I realise that you’re the only person I want to moan to about how crap my day was, but I can’t. And I lose you in between those two moments, in all of the hours of silence that go by where I do nothing but think about you, go to call you, and then don’t. I lose you when I watch certain films, listen to certain songs, and go to certain places that are all tainted with certain parts of you and how you make me feel. And I used to think I could only miss you when I was alone, and I mean really alone, like in the shower or when trying to fall asleep, but that’s not true. I miss you even when I’m around other people, when I wish they were you. And I lose you then, too. I lose you every time I see your name or your words or your photographs, and I lose you in my mind when I don’t. You’re always there. I can’t not think about you. It’s only when I’m asleep that I get a break from it, from thinking about you and wanting you and missing you. But then I wake up the following day, roll over, check my phone, and I just know I’m going to feel it all over and over again.
Be with someone who would drive five hours, just to see you for one.
- Latelycravingmore (via latelycravingmore)